1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Do not cut your hair. Ever.
3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
4. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
6. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
7. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
8. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
9. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
10. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
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